Monday, March 2, 2009


This story goes back a while...I think sometime in July. My first post-husband date.

A former co-worker convinced me to join was on there and had met some fun people, I figured what the hell. I ended up meeting S. We seemed to hit it off online and on the phone. After talking for a couple of weeks we decided to meet for dinner and drinks. We had a good time and S was a decent enough guy. We had a mini make-out session on the street before we headed our separate ways.

Date #2 was a few days later...again, more kissing, but nothing too hot and heavy.

Date #3 (ok this was totally not a date, but let's roll with it) involved me meeting some friends of mine for drinks after work (must have been a Friday). We'd been drinking for a while when S called me to see what I was up to. I told him where I was and he ended up joining us. We left the bar and went to a comedy club to continue drinking.

Well one thing lead to another and I ended up going home with him. BAD IDEA. We get to his house...and from what I remember it was a typical guys house. No furniture. Nothing on the walls. Whatever, all I really cared about what finding out where the bedroom was located.

After some drunken foreplay we have sex. It was horrible. I swear to God I have never in my life seen a penis so fucking small. Seriously. It was ridiculous. I can honestly tell you that a super tampon is bigger. I couldn't even tell if he was inside me or not!!! All I have to say is no wonder the poor guy was 33 and single. Clearly I got nothing out of this...but he did...unfortunately. It must have been a while for him too, because he wanted to KEEP.HAVING.SEX. Not only did have miserable sex once, we had miserable sex three times.

I don't know what the fuck I was thinking...clearly I was trying to be nice in my drunken stupor. I cannot come up with on single other reason to have endured that more than one time.

Eventually I passed out and he left me alone - until the next morning when he woke up before me and wanted to have sex AGAIN! I had apparently sobered up by that time because I was not having THAT for a fourth time.

Never spoke to S again...


Ms. Florida Transplant said...

What a bad "first" experience as a single woman!

Dave Q. said...

That sucks. I blame They are clearly not screening their members in an efficient manner.

Hope said...

I feel you girl....

While I may not have it that bad my husband is not by any means.... AHEM.... satisfying.